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QPR v Newcastle – as it happened

Peeep! That’s it. QPR had masses of possession and chances in the first-half, and a decent amount of possession and chances in the second-half. Who knows if they’d continued to decline, Newcastle may have eventually had a chance. For the moment though (and I stress for the moment), Newcastle are heading for the Champions League.

90 min + 2: One last punt forward for QPR. Kenny sends a goal-kick into the night sky and into Krul’s hands.

90 min: Sammy Ameobi appeals for a free-kick around the corner flag. Dowd signals for a QPR throw. There’ll be four minutes of added time.

88 min: Steven Taylor is booked for clattering Paddy Kenny as he prepares to take a goal-kick. Sammy Ameobi is on for Obertan and his disappointing forehead. And the brilliant SWP is off for Jason Puncheon.

86 min: I’d say I’ve got no idea how QPR haven’t won this game already but I do: Jay Bothroyd.

85 min: QPR have now got two scurriers on the pitch with Campbell’s introduction. He scampers into the box but Newcastle get it clear.

83 min: Tiote tackles himself before failing to tackle Biggest Prada Outlet In Italy SWP, whose shot curls a foot or so wide of the post.

82 min: Two shanked clearances from QPR and they’re almost punished for them. The ball eventually finds its way to Obertan’s forehand which miserably fails to usher the ball into the net. Bad forehead. Marveaux is on for Best.

79 min: Another QPR corner is wasted. Bothroyd is off for DJ Campbell. “Hell of a player is Bothroyd, some fantastic last ditch clearances tonight,” giggles Chris Bannister.

77 min: Ryan Taylor loses possession as Newcastle develop a promising move and QPR can clear. “Now you’ve brought up Red or Black I must announce my complete disapproval of the program, I just don’t see what the fuss is about,” says Sion Cleaver. “Now if they had a Victorian woman holding up the scores in her bikini, I would definitely tune in.”

75 min: The ball plops across the edge of the area and finds its way to Gutierrez, whose wild swing results in a predictable mess.

73 min: Yup, another corner for QPR. Derry has another headed chance and heads wide of Krul’s right-hand post once more.

71 min: Krul pauses as SWP advances, the winger crosses to Bothroyd, who can’t get a good connection with his head. Not fort he first time tonight. Or this half.

69 min: QPR continue to press, Gabbidon eventually lumps it into the box and Krul gathers. “I see Ant & Dec are in the crowd,” says Johnny Mac, either watching on telly or from the executive boxes,” and while Ant (or Dec) looked rather happy to be there, Dec (or Ant) looked a wee bit dis-chuffed.” He probably can’t think of any witty Victorian quotes. Actually, I think that was a round in Red or Black.

66 min: Corner for QPR. Their third in the space of a few minutes – you can ignore that bit about Newcastle easing the pressure I wrote a few minutes back – and Derry fights off his marker but his header goes wide. “I’d like to say that my favourite Victorian is Rolf Harris,” says Mark Leadbeater, “but unfortunately he’s from Western Australia.”

64 min: Tiote clatters Barton and is booked. Ameobi then trots off and is replaced by Ba.

62 min: Ferdinand heads out for a corner. Newcastle have eased the pressure in the second-half.

59 min: Coloccini thinks it’s a good idea to attempt a backheel just outside his own area. Actually it does turn out to be a good idea because QPR are so excited about it they kick it into touch.

57 min: Corner to QPR after Simpson dives in to cut out a Taarabt cross. “Re your half-time emailer who always wanted to meet a Victorian: I was RAISED by one: an ‘aunt’ who was born in 1872,” says Dennis Marshall. “A nice lady, a little prim, and childless, who ventured south to be a nurse at Woolwich.” You win our Victorian MBM Award. Your prize is to mark Taarabt for the evening.

54 min: Faurlin floats a beautiful ball in to SWP, who drifts away from Simpson. The finish, however, is a Ap Lei Chau Prada Factory Outlet bit well … “Here’s a Victorian quote any modern footballer would be proud of,” says my colleague Phil Maynard, who I know to be a massive Queen Victoria fan. “‘The important thing is not what they think of me, but what I think of them.'”

51 min: Connolly is on for Traore. Here’s Ben Dunn: “I believe Warmock was sporting a camp goatee, silly hat and being shot in theatre when he gave this Victorian gee-up quote to Captain Barton of the RAF: ‘Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s charecter, give him power’.”

50 min: Bothroyd is caught offside. “Gary Neville should have stopped playing 10 years ago,” says Ben Penin. “A wasted broadcasting genius.” True, shame he’s on Sky and we have to pay to see him. Easily the best pundit on TV at the moment.

48 min: Ameobi reckons Ferdinand tugged at him as he ran into the box, he has a point too but Phil Dowd doesn’t see it.

47 min: SWP in the thick of the action – who knew he was a good player for all that time he was on the Man City bench – setting up Taarabt, who shoots straight at Krul.

46 min: We’re off again. We’ll see if QPR come to suffer for missing those chances in the first-half. “There might Authentic Prada Handbag Uk not be any Victorians reading the MBM, but Derry looks at least 109,” says Ben Monk, correctly.

Half-time quotes from your favourite Victorians:

Jonny Mac: “Should Barton want to make peace with Newcastle, he could approach the visiting Manager after the game paraphrasing Admiral Nelson with ‘Kiss me Pardy’.”

Hugh Collins (not strictly a Victorian but he was nice enough to email in: “I’ve always wanted to meet a Victorian. I’ve eaten so many of their sponge cakes, I feel I should at least thank them. Snap!”

Half-time: QPR have had two shots cleared off the line and around 86 shots on target but still haven’t managed to score. Barton has been relatively quiet, completely overshadowed by the brilliant Taarabt.

45 min +3: QPR go for one final attack this half, Taarabt finds Barton in the area but he can’t find enough space.

45 min: Three minutes of added time.

44 min: Free-kick from Barton, Bothroyd prods wide. He’s missed a few good chances. “Re Chris (35 min),” says Tim Smith. “Surprisingly, modern American Victorians do go in for premarital sex – see Bristol Palin.”

43 min: Simpson’s cross goes over the heads of its intended target, he’s sure Ferdinand touched it but Phil Dowd says it’s a goal kick.

41 min: QPR look like a top-10 side on the evidence of the first 40 minutes. Shame their finishing has been of a much, much lower standard.

39 min: Yep, Best is back on. SWP is released again, he crosses again and the ball is cleared off the line again. It was Taarabt who set SPW up, he’s Agatha Ruiz Dela Prada Messenger Bag been brilliant tonight.

37 min: Best receives treatment but he should be OK to continue. Allan Barless has a quote for us: “‘I don’t know much about football. Authentic Prada Handbags Outlet Online I know what a goal is, which is surely the main thing about football’. It’s Victoria Beckham … does that qualify?” Yes, yes it does.

35 min: SWP gets excited after some crisp passing on the edge of the Newcastle area and attempts to play a team-mate in with a backheel. There’s no team-mate there though and Newcastle clear. “Re: Tim asking who the Victorians were,” writes Chris Longwell. “They were a God-fearing people with a taste for foreign military wars and a distaste for pre-marital sex. I imagine Tim can find a few in certain states in America.”

32 min: Simpson needs to be on guard again as a sweeping ball from Bothroyd nearly finds Taarabt. The Sky microphone is very near someone in the crowd with a sweary mouth. What would Agatha Ruiz Dela Prada Uk Sale the Victorians say. “I believe there are currently 5.5 million live Victorians, most of them in Australia,” writes Roderick Stewart.

29 min: It was Simpson with the clearance on the line by the way. “Thomas Carlyle’s ‘No man lives without jostling and being jostled; in all ways he has to elbow himself through the world, giving and receiving offence’ seems appropriate for Joey Barton,” says Julian Borrill.

28 min: QPR crash a shot over the bar, they’ve been excellent tonight until they’ve actually had to put the ball into the net. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the new Arsenal. Oh, Newcastle clear a shot over the line. This could have been 3-0 by now.

25 min: For a team with five or so debutants, QPR have been the more coherent team. “This is Tim from the USA! USA! USA!,” says Tim Smith from the USA! USA! USA! “Can you help us by reminding us who the Victorians are? Is that like a neighborhood in London? Or a political party?”

22 min: Taarabt releases SWP after a brilliant spin-and-nutmeg, the cross flashes a cross across the box, which Bothroyd just misses. Jonny Mac channels Capt Kirk for a bit of advice for Joey. I realise he’s not Victorian: “One of the advantages of being Captain is being able to ask for advice without necessarily taking it.”

19 min: Neil Warnock is unhappy about something but he looks happy about being unhappy about it. Coloccini has to get in quickly to clear a ball into the box. “Re: 109-year-olds emailing in,” says Damian Wims. “I doubt Pippo Inzaghi will be following your MBM, with all due respect.”

16 min: SWP is having a very bright start. A long, raking ball releases him and he shoots early forcing Krul into a sharp save.

15 min: SWP sends an excellent cross in to Bothroyd, he has to adjust slightly as Agatha Ruiz Dela Prada he volleys it and the ball flashes over from eight yards out.

14 min: The corner resulting from Kenny’s save is in the bottom 3% of corners ever taken, including ones in the playground at lunchtime.

12 min: Bets turns brilliantly and unleashes a shot that Kenny does very well to turn round the post. John Kelly has out first Dead Victorian quote of the night. “It takes two flints to make a fire – Louisa May Alcott.” Although she was American, I don’t know if you have to be British to be a Victorian.

10 min: “Re: Dead Victorians (1 min),” says Chris Longwell. “A Victorian could still be alive as long as they were 109 or so.” I imagine one of them will email in before too long, they won’t have much else to do tonight. Shaun Wright-Phillips has a good chance with a header but the outcome is as much as Authentic Prada Gauffre you might expect from a five-footer who hasn’t started a game since 1963.

7 min: It’s a windy night in London and a long ball swirls in the air before Paddy Kenny leaps to claim it.

5 min: Free-kick for QPR to the right of the area, the central defenders rumble up looking for a header but it’s poorly hit and flies over the heads of both teams. Taarabt then has a shot from distance but it’s straight at Krul

3 min: QPR intercept a loose Newcastle pass and hang around the opposition area before losing interest, and possession. “Barton as Captain? Genius – think Keane at Man Utd,” says Harvey Kelly. “Although Capt. Barton sounds like someone in WWI who was two busy writing poetry to go and stick it to the Germans.” His haircut is a very world war one haircut too, don’t you think?

1 min: And we’re off. In the absence of Joey Barton on Twitter, who’s playing a football match tonight apparently, we don’t have a clever quote from a dead Victorian (is there any other kind?) to sum up tonight game, but please do provide your own if you have one. The Newcastle fans gave Joey a very good reception.

7.54pm: New QPR owner Tony Fernandes is waving at the crowd, although he looks like he’s got a piece of celery sticking out of his pocket (no doubt that’s some charity emblem that I’ve managed to gravely insult). On the TV Gary Neville is analysing the QPR tunnel, it’s smaller than the average tunnel apparently, which makes Loftus Road a tough place to go to. Not that hard for Bolton a couple of weeks back, mind.

7.50pm: So, Neil Warnock has made Joey Alex Pradas Quiles Barton captain, a classic piece of upyoursmanship from one of the league’s most passive managers:

QPR: Kenny, Young, Ferdinand, Gabbidon, Traore, Barton, Derry, Faurlin, Wright-Phillips, Bothroyd, Taarabt. Subs: Murphy, Hall, Campbell, Buzsaky, Connolly, Smith, Puncheon.

Newcastle: Krul, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Ryan Taylor, Obertan, Cabaye, Tiote, Gutierrez, Best, Shola Ameobi. Subs: Elliot, Santon, Guthrie, Lovenkrands, Ba, Marveaux, Sammy Ameobi, £35m not being spent on strikers, look at it just sitting there.Referee: Phil Dowd (Staffordshire)

Tom will be here with coverage of QPR v Newcastle from 7.45pm or so. In the meantime here’s a wee preview from Jamie Jackson:

Tony Fernandes’s first home match as the QPR owner should prove a humdinger. Under the Loftus Road lights, and in front of the live TV cameras like it, Joey Barton makes his bow for Neil Warnock’s side against his former club, Newcastle United. While his acrimonious departure from St James’ Park provides a spicy sideshow, both managers will want to get on with accruing points.

Alan Pardew has overcome being unable to reinvest most of the £35m yielded from Andy Carroll’s sale on a replacement striker to take an impressive seven points from three games, while Warnock’s tally is three. Each would be content with a draw.

Match pointers

• Newcastle are unbeaten in their last four meetings with Queens Park Rangers, winning three of those games

• QPR are without a win in their last five matches at home in all competitions

• Steven Taylor has made more blocks than any Authentic Prada Fairy Bag For Sale other player in the Premier League this season with seven

• No player has had more shots on goal without scoring than Adel Taarabt – 14

• This is Newcastle’s best start to a season since 1995, when they ended up finishing the campaign second to Manchester United